


Chiss Don't Kiss

by RoninReverie



Series: Thrawn and Eli Stories [2]
Category: Star Wars: Rebels, Star Wars: Thrawn - Timothy Zahn
Genre: Alien Culture, Interspecies Awkwardness, Kissing, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-28
Updated: 2018-04-28
Packaged: 2019-04-29 03:54:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14464449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoninReverie/pseuds/RoninReverie
Summary: Thrawn and Eli bear witness to a surprising display of affection, prompting Thrawn to investigate further into human romantic gestures that he doesn't yet understand. Eli's patience wears thin as Thrawn's questioning prompts him to blurt out something spontaneous.





	Chiss Don't Kiss

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MinnieTheMoocherDA](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MinnieTheMoocherDA/gifts).



Finals week was hard for even the most devoted Imperial in training, and thank the proverbial Force they were finally over! Eli thought.

“That test was rigged to fail!” He complained aloud, waving his arms out in front of him as he and Thrawn made their way through the now barren academy halls and back to their quarters.

“Not so,” Thrawn argued, his red eyes surveying Eli’s own with an almost bored expression behind them. “Though the instructor did use redirection to make the the test taker think one way, any student who read the basic structure of our last chapter would have known better than to fall for such deception.”

 _Scratch that._ Eli noted. Finals week was hard for even the most devoted Imperial in training, _aside from Thrawn._

“Yeah, well I doubt the rest of us are gonna be so lucky!” He said with a snort. “I don’t see why we have to know Core World Classical Culture anyway?”

Thrawn smiled and let out an amused breath.

“What’s so funny?”

The blue skinned Chiss pressed a button on the turbolift and gave Eli a very serious look.

“There is a great deal of understanding for one’s opponents that can be achieved by studying their culture, their art, and yes, even their music.”

“Because I’m sure knowing “The Cantata of Cora Vessora” being based on an old witch getting revenge is going to save me later on down the road.”

“Ah see,” Thrawn mused. “You did understand the question after all.”

“I didn’t say I got the answers wrong.” Eli pouted. “I just said the professor rigged it to be unnecessarily difficult, don’t you think?”

“Battle is often unpredictable and unfair,” he replied. “Learning to accept and overcome such difficulties will surely help us in the long run.”

The Turbolift landed and Eli rolled his eyes as they approached the doors.

“Fine, fine,” he said, muttering, “Look at who I’m talking to. You know, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you--”

But Eli didn’t get a chance to finish his accusation, as the turbolift doors slid open to reveal a sight that Eli never imagined he would see at this academy.

He and Thrawn took a step back as they stared blankly at two disheveled cadets still wrapped in each other's arms in such a way that it reminded Eli of the tentacles on a Rathtar squeezing the life out of its prey.

Eli instantly turned three different shades of red as Thrawn just stood there, staring with the slightest tilt of his head. He was confused, but piecing the clues together shortly after as he came to a conclusion in his own mind.

 _“Oh!”_ He finally said.

Eli slid his face into his palm and sighed.

Meanwhile, the two cadets looked over at the opened door with equal glares of annoyance and disdain before reaching for the buttons and giving off a threatening look that read: _do not even think about getting on this turbolift._ They then resumed their shameless make-out session as the warning lights alerted all passengers that the doors were about to close.

“Interesting,” Thrawn stated.

Eli groaned.

“That’s okay.” He waved sourly. “We’ll just take the stairs.”

He was offered a rather rude hand gesture in return as the turbolift doors sealed shut and the cadets could continue their-- _well--_ _what_ _they were doing_ \-- all the way up to the dorm rooms. Eli tried not to imagine it, and shook the thought out of his brain with a soft growl.

“Just what the Empire needs...” He spat. “A couple of pining fools playing tonsil hockey in the turbolift!”

“Cadet Vanto,” Thrawn inquired, his mind still racing. “I have several questions.”

“Of course you do,” he replied, hand shooting back up to his eyes as his tanned cheeks burned red again.

Thrawn noticed the blush, and it answered a few of his unspoken questions.

“Oh, I see. That was some sort of mating ritual, was it not?”

Eli’s red face quickly turned to green and he cut his arm through the air as though it would waft away Thrawn’s words.

“Ugh!” He shuddered. “Please don’t say it like that.”

“My apologies, would the correct phrase be this _tonsil hock_ \---”

“NO!” Eli’s hand was out to stop him before he finished his sentence. He didn’t mean to actually cover Thrawn’s mouth, but removed his hand so quickly that he didn’t have time to see if the Chiss was insulted by the contact. He sighed and composed himself, adding in a much calmer voice now as he said, “No, that’s just another idiom, and not a very nice one at that. I wouldn’t go around saying it if I were you.”

“Understood. Then what should I call such an action?”

Eli almost stopped his tread up the stairs as he stared dumbfoundedly towards his friend and blinked.

“You mean, people don’t kiss where you’re from?”

“Kiss?” Thrawn’s tone alerted Eli that he had just mentally catalogued the term. “No. We have no such action. Mouths are used strictly for gustatory purposes, and in some rare occasions, as tools for biting apart threads and--” He trailed off. “Other survival tactics.”

Eli was about to make a remark on how Thrawn knew the word “gustatory” but not what a kiss was, when an even stronger question burned forward in his mind.

“So, if you didn’t think they were being romantic,” he asked. “Then what did you think they were doing?” He clenched his eyes together and shook his head. “On second thought, I really don’t want to know.”

He rubbed his face until the shade returned to normal as Thrawn, who was trying to wrap his head around the meaning behind the action of kissing, had been asking questions and talking about it for the last five minutes, even long after they had made it back to the quiet safety of their room. Eli was at the desk trying to search the HoloNet for any sort of distraction from the topic, but Thrawn was on his bunk doing Force knows what as he hummed in thought.

“Cadet Vanto,” he said. “Did you know that the Empire has a closed-door policy for kissing in public?”

_“Fascinating.”_

Eli’s voice was anything but fascinated, but he tried his best to keep ignoring his roommate as he surfed deeper into the HoloPad.

“If they only knew of my rank, I’m sure they would not have been so--?” He said a word in Sy Bisti and awaited the translation.

“Blatant,” Eli said automatically, speaking without actually wanting to reply. He shrunk back down to the desk in aggravation.

“Blatant. Thank you.”

 _“Uh huh…”_ he grumbled.

For a few peaceful moments, everything was quiet, but then he heard Thrawn’s learning voice spike again with intrigue as he set down his own DataPad.

“Interesting. Apparently it is not just a human interaction, but one shared by many other species.” He mulled over that fact for a moment. “I wonder why it is the Chiss do not kiss? I’d imagine it would stem back to our early--”

"Oh for Force sakes!" Eli erupted, turning from the desk chair to look at Thrawn who was sitting on the edge of the bottom bunk in sheer stupefied contemplation. Of all the things in the universe that managed to stump the ever-knowing Chiss soldier, Eli thought, of course it had to be something as stupid as kissing.

Thrawn was surprised at his outburst,  but sat silently so Eli could finish his statement.

"I'll kiss you right now, if it'll get you to stop talking about it!"

Thrawn stared, blinking lightly before leaning forward, hands on his knees.

"If this action is indeed something to signify romantic interest, " he said.  "I do not wish to have you do something that will make you uncomfortable just to pay for my silence."

"I'm already uncomfortable!" He almost smiled despite his own frustration. "Because you keep yammering on about it.  Besides--" He pulled his hair back and shrugged his shoulders. "There's different kinds of kissing. It isn't always romantic. This’ll just be like a… a demonstration."

This intrigued Thrawn.

"Fascinating. Then I will accept your offer of a demonstration."

"First, you gotta promise to quit talking about it."

"I promise," Thrawn said with full sincerity. He didn't want to add 'if your demonstration quells my curiosity ' but  he trusted Eli to explain properly just as he always did, so he wasn't worried.

“Alright then!” He nodded, his mouth a thin line as the red in his face started to flush back onto his cheekbones.

“How should I prepare myself?”

“Don’t do anything!” Eli said, louder than he meant to. “Just--” He fumbled. “Just sit there and don’t move.”

“Alright,” Thrawn said simply, accompanied with a small half nod in Eli’s direction.

As Eli approached the bunk, his heart was hammering at the back of his ribs and his stomach was piloting a TIE Fighter that Eli could feel doing somersaults in his gut. Of all the stupid things to blurt out, why _this?_ What did he get himself into? If this were something with a human, he could play it off as a joke, but of course, as usual, Thrawn took everything literally.

It wasn’t like Eli hadn’t thought about this sort of thing before. Just a few cycles ago, one of their regular bullies slipped a piece of paper under their door with an insulting doodle of Eli and Thrawn in wedding dresses. Of course, Thrawn wanted to keep the stupid thing to study, but Eli crumpled it up and tossed it in the incinerator the first chance he got. He wondered how many people thought stuff like that about them. Not many, but still, there had to be a few people curious about it. He was an alien afterall, and who really knew what they were like behind domesticated doors.

But still, never in a million years, in even his wildest dreams even, did Eli think he’d be put in this position.

Thrawn just sat there like he was told, still and unmoving aside a calm and steady breath to rise from his chest.

Eli felt his mouth dry up and swiftly leaned forward to deliver one quick peck on the cheek to the Chiss.

“There, a kiss! You happy?”

His frown alerted Eli that he was most assuredly unsatisfied with the demonstration.

“I suppose?” He lied.

“That’s a neutral kind of kiss,” Eli explained, his voice squeaking as he avoided making direct eye contact with Thrawn. “Like I might give to my mom, or my grandparents.”

“I see.” Thrawn’s face was slightly more content with the explanation. “And they would, in return, kiss your cheek as well?”

“Yeah,” Eli shrugged, blinking at a normal speed once again. “Or like on my forehead or my hair or something.”

Thrawn’s hand moved instinctually to his forehead and his eyes grew wider for a moment. Eli noted the strange behavior and thought it might be the first time he’d seen the big blue know-it-all so stunned. Not that anyone else could probably pinpoint the emotion, but after living with him for so long, Eli picked up a thing or two about Chiss facial expression. They were subtle, but they still existed.

“What?”

His glowing eyes met Eli’s and held them there, ensnared against Eli’s best attempts to look at anything else in the room besides those two laser red orbs. His face got hot.

“The forehead is a somewhat sensitive area for the Chiss,” he explained. “Where your rituals involve kissing, mine are a much simpler tactile action.”

“Like what?” He was almost afraid to ask.

Thrawn stood from the bunk and Eli felt his heart pound once before stopping completely.

“May I demonstrate?” He asked.

Every part of him wanted to say no, but dumbly, Eli nodded and felt the chilling touch of Thrawn’s smooth, luke-warm fingerprints dust the side of his face as his forehead fell softly against Eli’s.

He had his eyes shut tight, afraid of what he might see if he opened them. He felt the breath on his face and tensed up in anticipation, but after a moment, Thrawn pulled back and Eli blinked, rubbing his forehead in confusion.

“That-- that’s all?” He asked, his voice cracking.

Thrawn smirked.

“It may be a simple gesture to you,” he said. “But it is a very special one to my people. In a way it is like your forehead kiss, only as a sign of deep respect rather a parental display of affection.”

“Oh?”

 _Oh._ Eli repeated in his own mind. What is that supposed to mean? _Oh?_ He swallowed once, hard, and twirled a loose strand of hair around his finger, a nervous habit that he was sure Thrawn could see coming from a parsec away.

He sighed. Eli’s whole head felt like it was steaming.

“If you trust me enough to show me that much about your culture, then I guess I can show you a better demonstration than before. Just so we're even.” His brows arched and he jammed his finger up at Thrawn’s face. “But you better not tell anyone! This is just for learning purposes, okay?”

Thrawn nodded without saying anything, but Eli noticed the smallest bit of purple hued flesh creeping in on the Chiss’ ears. _Was he getting flustered?_ Do people like Thrawn get flustered?

“Should I--”

“Just lean forward a little bit,” Eli demanded, his head turned, eyes looking to the corner.

He felt the presence ease closer and felt his heart stop again. He told himself to stop getting so worked up over this. It was just to get Thrawn to stop talking about that turbolift couple, and kissing, and--

Before he could talk himself out of it, Eli fell forward, his lips meeting Thrawn’s, and eyes shut so tight he thought he might break his eyelids.

He pulled back after a moment and slowly peered forward only to see Thrawn eye level to him, his own eyes creeping open as well.

 _When did Thrawn shut his eyes?_ Eli thought.

“I think I understand,” he said, stepping forward suddenly and kissing Eli once more.

Eli’s shocked voice quickly drowned beneath the kiss as Thrawn, having only known one, kind of lackluster demonstration on Eli’s part, quickly managed to perfect the form as though he had been practicing it for years.

_Because of course he would._

Unconsciously, Eli’s hand lifted to Thrawn’s chest and suddenly he felt two hands clutching against his arms as he was pushed backwards a step, and snapped back to reality.

_“Whoa!”_

It was the only word he could think of, his face still hot, kiss broken, as Thrawn cleared his throat and took a step back, adjusting his uniform. The purple in his blush was stronger now, dark and entirely visible. It was almost humbling in Eli’s eyes to see Thrawn acting like the rest of them.  _Not that he was one to talk._ He could feel the heat on his own face and didn't even want to know what color it was.

“Forgive me,” Thrawn said. “I have misinterpreted your advance.”

“Advance?” Eli asked, catching his breath, though his heart was still hammering away in his chest.

Thrawn’s arm raised, his fingers hesitant, but he placed it directly to Eli’s chest, where he swallowed and blinked once, almost painfully, before releasing his grip as though he’d just touched something hot.

“In my culture--” His voice was almost shaky, definitely not the composed and calculating tone it normally was. “When two Chiss--” He swallowed. “The placing of one’s hand on the chest is used as an invitation.”

“Invita--” Eli’s eyes shot wide. _“Oh!”_

“For my people, it is likewise a test of interest,” Thrawn explained. “If one of the two performs such an action and feels a heartbeat in return, then they reciprocate one another’s feelings.”

“What if they’re just nervous?”

“Such nerves would be lost after the--” He pointed to his forehead. “As well as the previous courting.”

“Oh...” Eli couldn’t help but laugh. “So I just shot from first to third base without warning then, huh?”

Thrawn’s eyes squinted.

“I don’t und--”

“I know,” he said, rubbing at his neck. “I’m sorry I led you on like that, but you kind of took me by surprise when you--” He made a face and gestured around his mouth with nervous hands.

“I too apologize.” He bowed slightly. “I noted your demonstration and wanted to test my understanding.”

“Well you succeeded,” he said, losing a breath, but smiling nonetheless.

“Is that so?”

Thrawn almost looked proud of himself, and this made Eli roll his eyes.

“Why do you care so much about this particular human thing anyway?” He asked sternly.

Thrawn’s purple deepened and just as quickly faded as he sat back down and retrieved his datapad.

“Delayed gratification is necessary to reap larger rewards,” he said. “Therefore, any knowledge I can obtain today will be especially useful in the future.”

Eli made a face.

“I don’t suppose I follow?”

Thrawn smiled.

“Regardless,” he said. “A deal is a deal and the Chiss are creatures of their word, Cadet Vanto. You will not hear me speak of this night or these events again.”

“Now, wait a second, hold on there--” He stopped and started to nod. There would be no arguing with him. He was as stubborn as an Ankarax, and Eli was beginning to tell when Thrawn was plotting something. Though what, Eli couldn’t begin to tell.

Silently, Eli shrugged and made his way back to the desk to sit down. He touched his lip and smiled, though hiding it from Thrawn as each of them went back to researching on their HoloPads.

“Graduation is coming soon,” Eli said after the moments of long silence.

“So it is,” Thrawn’s eerie voice replied in that distracted way he used whenever he had other thoughts on his mind.

“After we get our assignments,” Eli continued. “Well, we’ll probably be going our separate ways.”

“Perhaps,” he replied simply.

“Well, it’s been interesting,” he laughed, still touching his bottom lip. “That’s for sure.” He scrolled faster through something on his datapad and chuckled. “Certainly not the way I thought I’d spend my last few months at the academy.”

“Nor how I thought to spend mine,” Thrawn replied.

“Uh huh.”

That was really all that was left to say. Soon they’d be going to their graduation ceremony and Eli would be placed on a Supply Ship somewhere while Thrawn would be assigned _who knows_ where. He hoped it would be somewhere nice at least, somewhere Thrawn’s intellect would be put to good use.

Soon, Eli thought. Soon he would be just another memory of Eli’s academy days, a story he’d look back on in _twenty-something_ years and laugh about. Tonight would certainly be something he looked back on, but that didn’t much matter. It was in the past, and Eli was eagerly excited for what the future holds.

Maybe that’s what Thrawn’s “delayed gratification” speech was all about, though Eli didn’t know how kissing would amount to that in Thrawn’s own future. He shoved the thought to the back of his mind and crawled up to his bunk to get ready for bed.

“Mind hitting the light?”

Thrawn did so, his glowing eyes reflected in the light of his HoloPad.

“Night then,” he said, turning to face the wall.

“Goodnight Eli,” Thrawn’s voice replied, only now it sent shivers up Eli’s spine.

He swallowed, but lifted the covers over his head as he felt Thrawn return to the lower bunk, the light of his HoloPad clicking off as he placed it on the desk beside them. He might not need to sleep as much, but Thrawn was courteous enough to try to do so when Eli did. He had never once woken him up in all their time together, but nevertheless, he knew that the stillness of this moment would be short lived, and he thought he would miss that feeling after graduation.

The room, now swallowed in black echoed in the silence, as Eli finally racked up enough courage to smile. He lingered on that kiss for just one moment longer, then he turned to the side and fell asleep.

Maybe just for tonight, he thought. The future can wait until morning.

**Author's Note:**

> Let it be known that I am not good at writing fluff and kisses! This fic could have gone one of two ways, but if I can't even handle fluff, there is no way I can handle a higher rating situation. So, if you want to, that's fine, but I'm sticking over here in the semi-innocent circle I've drawn and will look out with binoculars at the rest of the world. XD
> 
> Thank you Minnie, for the idea about Chiss foreheads.


End file.
